Er... What!?

So it's 4.30 in the morning right now. Bear with me! - I actually finished this post a few weeks after the incident occured on Twitter.

As all of you've realised and known, I am very active on Twitter. I tweet. A lot a lot. What I tweet range from from books to technologies to medical-related stuffs also (definitely) including my favourite anime and manga. It's a place that I can trully express myself and thoughts running in my brain every single day. It's an escapade for me. 

I love interacting with people there compare to FB because it's not as personal as the later. Twitter is more open and yet, I feel secure there. I don't put up my recent photos (and I'm on the way of removing those I've had uploded!) and there aren't loads of my personal information there. Also, I don't feel like I'm barging on others' people TL if I RT mountains of tweets. You don't like it? You mute it. No harm done and definitely no hard feeling of unfriending/blocking. 

You don't know me, I don't know. We don't bothet each other, kay? 

Right? 

Wrong. 

Someone decided that a medical student like me shouldn't be on Twitter most of the time. Who the heck give you the authority to 'advice' me to stay out of Twitter just I am simply a medical student? 

You don't even know me for Goodness' sake. 

I learnt a lot from Twitter. I am definitely not the typical medical student that spend her time read books and slides and medica references. The knowledges are not limited in books and most definitely stick better in your brain when you discuss. And how I discuss medical stuff is by usingn Twitter. Most of the medica students I know that use this particular social media share their knowledges. We discuss. We ask qurstions. 

You dony have the right to kick me out of Twitter even if your intentions are good. Really, you need to revise on your Tweeting and advicing skils. Tweets like that would make people hating you. And do remember, the medical community starts with people that ask questions; medical students trying to get a better understanding by asking doctors in Twitter. 

You just recently join Twitterville and ought to learn the community before you get angry at people. 

Also, I do think a lot of medical students don't study all the time. They split their time between studying, hobbies, social life and anything their heart desire. I'm pretty sure you understand how stressful medical students' lives can be. And to study during all awaking hours, crazy aah? 

I don't rant a lot but I was definitely taken aback with your tweets.

I already unfollowed you btw and I'm really glad. Idk what was on your mind that day, but others who are in the same profession as you, are cool with me being active on Twitter. Maybe, even if they don't, they know better than saying anything because they don't know me, personally

Professional people like you is the one of the reasons miscommunication happen. Your tone, how you structure your words, when you interupt people- among the important things you ought to learn. 

We couldn't afford for people to wrongly understand us when we are here to educate people. Our profession demands that. 

A small miscommunication may lead to harmful effect in our field. 

It's the babies feeding time! 

P/S: Enjoying my oncall today! ✌🏻️

[Book Review] Pantai Kasih by Azmah Nordin

*Supposed to post this a month ago and my English is not that good*

Assalamualaikum. Hi! 

Since this is my first proper book review, please be kind to me. I'm not much of a book reviewer and I have read a lot less comparing to my high school years. So I will try to do this book review as good as I possibly could and also, I might just be ranting aimlessly, picking up pointless points about the book; mostly on what I despise about it. 

Firstly, a vague background on my reading experiences. 

I've had my fair share of Malay novels especially during those years when I kinda hate English to its core (how stupid of me! -.-). The early 2000s of Alaf 21's books are my standard on how novels of leisure yet informational wise and beautiful usage of Bahasa Melayu should be written like. The older generations of Malay books like Usman Awang's or A Samad Said's, those are fantastic but I haven't gotten enough exposures on their materials to make a comparison.

It has been quite sometimes since I pickup a Malay novel because recent published novels have such an ick!-y tittles with typical story line with a Datuk-Datin-rich guy met a poor girl, hating each other at first, force into marriage and eventually fall in love. My self conscious screams to stay away as far as possible from current, mainstream Malay novels. 

But! This Pantai Kasih book is an exception. With an excerpt of it being circulate in the net, particularly Twitter, I know I need to read this book before I could judge it. Also, it's part of the Bahasa Malaysia literature reading material for SPM-takers.

I got my copy from my BM teacher when I visited her. Being the biggest bookworm in my school, she knew the book would interest me as an excerpt of it being viral in the Net.

*I read this within a day and sort of skimming/speed reading on certain parts. Might not be a comprehensive review and most of my points are stored in my memories. There are probably points I've missed*

[GENERAL]

The book is about 160 pages long and the font is bigger than your typical novel size (just like those books we had back in early 2000s for primary school reading).  The font does irk me a little; it made me felt like I was being mocked. Somehow... 

It's also a bit shorter than your typical KOMSAS book and there are few drawings on the start of each chapters (which is weird... I guess?) No other KOMSAS books I read have pictures...

There are three main characters (Dr Raiha, Dr Sadiz and Dr Uwang) and about five others (Nurse Felicia, Dr Alex, Dr Muhammad and patient Unong, with psychiatric patient). 

I read the first 3/4 of the book while only skimmed through the remaining quarter. It is draggy/boring that I found myself hardly able to open my eyes. 

[Writing Style]

Comparing Pantai Kasih to Timulak Kapal Perang, I do feel that Pantai Kasih is a disaster. The writing is bad. It's like an insult for SPM takers to be reading a material like this. The author writes as if she is forced to fill up those 160 pages in nine chapters despite not having ideas on what to write. 

Same words and sentences keep on repeating for about five times in a single chapter of 10-17 pages long. It's not just using the same word but she actually repeats the same sentences back and forth. How many times could you write 'pembedahan kali ke enam' or something like that 

Remember back in SPM days and we're forced to write more than 360 words for essays in exams and you don't have ideas whatsoever that time? What's the better way to fill up the quota other than repeating the same things?

THAT'S WHAT HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK!

First few times it happened, I was okay but got irritated by the time I finished half of chapter 2. 

This book has mountains of flashbacks and imaginations (imbas muka) of the protagonist (Dr. Raiha). The changing between present, past and future are not well written that I got confused a few times during reading. One second Dr Raiha's viewing Unong's X-ray film the next second she's remembering her past with Dr Uwang.  The confusion also occurs when switching point of views of characters. One moment it's written from Dr Raiha's POV then suddenly the Nurse's POV. 

You have to have your head clear without any distractions to actually follow the POV/timeline of the book or you'll definitely find yourself in a maze of confusion.

The dialogues between the characters are too rigid. They are definitely feel awkward all the way through the end of the book.

[The STORY] - Spoilers (and Rants) Alerts

Dr Raiha - the protagonist of the story. A mid 30s Orthopedics surgeon worked at Pusat Rawatan Pantai Kasih, under Dr Uwang's guidance. She was married and had a child, but her daughter died in a fire. She used to be Dr Uwang's student, back when she was a medical student. She initially worked with both Dr Uwang and Dr Sadiz but the former transferred to PRPK, leaving her behind at the local hopsital with Dr Sadiz. She liked  Dr Uwang as he was a good looking doctor, charismatic and work for the sake of his patients. 

When she was working, and wanted to be, with Dr Sadiz, her dad was against it very sternly.  For her father, Dr Sadiz was an arrogant and rude bastard that would eventually destroy her daughter's life. She didn't listen and of course her father was right. Her marriage with Dr Sadiz did take a wrong turn. She had a child with Dr Sadiz (though the circumstance of conception seemed to be from rape but not sure whether it was a marital rape or otherwise). During a CT scan of her pregnancy, it showed that the fetus had some abnormality and Dr Sadiz forced her to do an abortion, which she didn't. Ayu, her daughter, had Down Syndrome (I think). Ayu died in a fire when she was near his father's Porsche, which was deliberately lit by Dr Sadiz. Dr Sadiz bought a new car and died in a car-oil tanker collision. 

A point for the author to kill Dr Sadiz. He is definitely the most hateful character I've ever came across (even Lord Voldermort is nicer!)

Dr Uwang - The handsome surgeon that worked at PRPK, taking over his father's place. The treatment center belonged to his dad and he'd expanded it to receive a lot more patients (and money), losing his integrity as a doctor along the way. He mainly focused on how much money he could make. This guy was as bad as his uncle (Dr Sadiz, yes the same doctor that was married to Dr Raiha). He's rich and definitely a narcissist. He cared only about himself. He's selfish. Despite being married to a beautiful, young woman, he's still looking for escorts and always thinking on why Dr Raiha stopped liking him. He also didn't want more than one kid and his son was sent to a boarding school as early as seven years old. 

He's a good surgeon, but only with the rich patients. The poor patients would always come back with post-op infections. This happened multiple times and it made Dr Raiha suspicious on him. Apart from this problem, being the person in charge of the medical center, Dr Uwang was bothered with the lack of security in his hospital. A psychiatric patient came in last week and pretended to a be doctor. It caused a big scene and scared a lot of people, including the nurses. Dr Uwang also kept on having flashbacks about 'a young girl' and fire that engulfed her small body. He was also haunted by the ghost of the child; seeing her on his garden, hugging his wife and such. 

Nurse Felecia - Also worked at PRPK and handled the same patient as both Dr Raiha and Dr Uwang. She wass haunted by the memory of Ayu's death. She was there went the car exploded but she knew something extra that she told nobody about. She pretended that she was scared from the patient impersonated to be a doctor (the psychiatric patient). Her nightmares are so bad that she started to chug cough medicine, stealing from the pharmacy. 

Felecia used to be Raiha's friend back in primary school but she felt inferior to Dr Raiha. 

These are what two-third of the book all about; just background stories on these four characters with Dr Sadiz only appeared in flashbacks of Dr Raiha and Dr Uwang. 

The sex part, the one that's been circulating around the net, is an imagination of a tired Dr Raiha. Though it's not told, I assuming that it happened before they got married. Rape happened (which was not stated where and when) and she was pregnant with Ayu. She did imagine the scene (or maybe flashback?) as at the moment, Dr Sadiz was dead and so was Ayu.

There are not a lot of things that I can learn from this book. It has a bit of misogynist-ish theme. 

1. Dr Raiha's dad (also a doctor) told her that a woman should not be a doctor. She should just be a housewife
2. Dr Uwang's belittled his wife a lot in his mind. Pretty face without a brain. Forced her to follow whatever he wants (including having only one child)
3. Dr Sadiz and Dr Uwang played a lot with escorts (while criticizing them, in their minds)

Narcissistic character - Dr Uwang was definitely in love with his own self. 

• He felt he was better than everyone and no one should question his work (Dr Raiha did and this hurt his ego a bit). 
• He only treated the best/rich person to take care of his image and when the break in happened at his hospital, he worked hard not to let it happened again (to maintain his image). 
• He wondered why Dr Raiha stopped liking him. 

The only good point I got is the love of a mother towards her child. Dr Raiha loved Ayu since she was still in her womb, and knowing she was not going to be a normal baby.

This showed how great mommy's love could be and she risked her life running away from her abusive husband. 

[Conclusions]

In terms of writing style, I DESPISE hate this book. It's boring to the max. It's draggy. It repeats the same sentences over and over again. It contains too much flashbacks and without a proper shift between past and presents. Changing of characters' POVs are also terrible. Definitely not for high school level especially SPM's KOMSAS. I couldn't get any positive values (other than mom's love). 

The story line - it's okay-lah but in need of better and a bit more on the story's elaboration. Most of the scenes happened vaguely, keeping the reader to ask questions and wondering what actually happen. 

Also, it ends rather abruptly. -.-

It's not even worth to be published. A lot more blog posts/fanfics or even school essays are written beautifully compare to this abominable work. The previous KOMSAS books are 1000 times better.

I don't think I would want to blame Azmah Nordin hundred percent for such a horrible book because I read Timulak Kapal Perang and it was a great book. Maybe it's the pressure from publisher? Or ministry?

One thing for sure, I'm definitely not recommending this book to be a KOMSAS book; not because of the few paragraphs on rape/porn/whatever-you-guys-are-calling-it BUT it's because of the terrible writing and ideas behind the story. 

I read it. 

I hated it. 

I wouldn't be recommending this book. 

Read at your own discretion. 

Attitudes

Salam

It has been quite sometimes since I last give this blog a peek. I only do so when I have ideas what to ramble and rant. And YES! I have something to talk about now.

This has been popping into my mind a handful of times during the year of  2015 (it sounds so long ago when we just passed it few days back -.-) and it's been bugging me during my New Year lunch with friends.

Attitudes

at·ti·tude

ˈadəˌt(y)o͞od/

noun

plural noun: attitudes

1. a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.

   "she took a tough attitude toward other people's indulgences"

So basically, how you BEHAVE and REACT with people.

It might look to be something tiny, insignificant perhaps in today's life. But it's part of very and utmost important aspects in life, that some people may overlook.

I learnt and realized how important this attitude is when I'm already in medical school. Yes, back in those school days, attitude is just attitude. Nothing much to consider about it and I didn't really give a second thought in it. Never actually.

There are few types of students people that you'll meet in life. There are those who treat others with respects; or act in a way that made the people around them feel inferior to that particular person; there are also those who always feel inferior to others; and then, there are the know-it-all-I'm-better-than-you-and-I-want-you-to-realize-it kind of person.

The last one is the species I loath the most. And this is also the people who doesn't care about their attitudes. They think with their extra bits of knowledge, automatically they're superior than others? And they start to treat surrounding people with no respect at all?

I saw this happening in my vicinity. The holier than thou and superiority complexes unfolding among the students. Yes, I know, the more you know, the better you're in faculty, the more superior (in terms of knowledge) you are among your fellow colleagues. But! This does not mean you could disrespect your 'friends.' And have the guts to questions whatever other people are doing, despite they're none of your business?

Then, that kind of aura you give out and made students from other faculties loath at medical students, thinking that all of us have that Grandiose Delusions of being the best in the hardest faculty in university?

Your attitudes define who you are. Even if you memorize all the words ever printed in the textbooks, you score highest among other students, and doing a lot more better than others, if your attitude is like that, do you think people will respect you?

Do you think your patient would like you?

Every time people ask me, how to survive in medical school, my answer would be as simple as it could be.

You study, you don't skip classes, you ask for prayers from your parents and...

check your attitudes and respect others

It's okay to be average, or maybe slightly lower... as long as you really work hard for it and you behaved appropriately. You could't and shouldn't be questioning people, with that kind of know-it-all tones and giving that annoying-aura to people. 

Even if you're right.

Even if you're the best.

Respect other people. In this field, we cannot be living for and by ourselves. We are a system that need one another. Medical field doesn't consist of doctors, ONLY. We have nurses, we have medical assistants, we have clerks, we have a lot more other people that make the system works. 

Do you think if you're acting like that, people will want to work with you? Respect you?

Attitudes define who we are.

Medical students (or everyone!) stop feeling we are better than anyone. In the end of the day, we are still gonna ended up in the same place. 

In a grave. 

We're just a speck of being in this vast world. Respect others if you want to be respected to. Respect is gained not given and your attitudes determine if you're worth others' respect. 

--Footnote--
> I started written this piece somewhere during New Year celebration day and just finished it. I'm lazy like that.